Sunday, December 14, 2008

I saw three ships.

Coming into this Christmas season... I feel quite content. Amidst all the worries or my daily life and in and amongst the sheer wonder of where I'll find myself in six months... I am content.

God is good. He truly is.

Oh, the wonderful feeling it is to wake up and remember that only because of His grace am I able to stand and long ago, He chose me out of the masses to serve as a light into the darkness.

Amazing grace.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

possible career discovery.

I've officially applied to become a firefighter and feel as though I'm going to seriously pursue this one.

For some reason, it jumped out to me today, and I don't know why that is... maybe it's because it's a job I could care about that would also provide for me financially, whilst still enabling me to work hard with my hands AND my mind.

I'm excited to see what this idea turns into... even if that is nothing!

oh how the fallen...

tend to fall.

Dear God,
I come to you today a sinner desperately in need of grace, but not only that, I'm in need of your strength to accept that grace and bring myself out of this pit I find myself in.

I see your hand at work, even in these darker days, and thank you that even now, you are watching over me... but I'd pray that you lift me up.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

the sound of love.

Today, I went out to Three Hills, Alberta to lay down some guitar tracks for Joal Kamps' upcoming record.

It was tons of fun; I reigned supreme at Burnout 3 and had a great time hanging out with mr. troyer.

God has blessed me in many ways, and sometimes I feel I forget that. I have a pretty swell gift for music... not even just playing, but appreciating. Music is a pretty fantastic thing, what with all it's rhythm and melody and if I were to think back to when I was in junior high... I would never have even thought I'd know how to play an instrument well, let alone have recorded an award winning album, toured north america playing guitar and had the opportunity to just head out and record some stuff now and then.

It's quite the fantastic blessing, I feel... and now... on to find a job!!!

ps. today I captured love... sonically. no joke.

Monday, December 8, 2008

conviction.

As the days go by, and I find myself more frequently in prayer and actual study times... I find myself daily more convicted of my shortcomings that I believe find me in the place I am today.

I have come to realize that for nearly the last 25 years, I have been scared of responsibility, and though I've made some weak attempts at taking hold of that... I feel it's time for me to stop reacting, and start planning.

I have spent far too much time in a reactive state of mind, just sort of dealing with whatever may come my way, instead of allowing Christ to lead me through all my circumstances.

I need to lean on Christ in all things, and trust that He cared enough for me to work out the details.

I have lacked the initiative that I believe we are called to have in our lives. I have lacked the pro-activeness that I believe is necessary to truly connect with God's world.

From this day forward, it is my desire to cease my reactivity and become a man who takes responsibility and initiative in the places that I should. No longer will I dwell in this apathy and stagnancy... I should be living a life worthy of the calling I've received... and to this day, I don't feel I've been doing that.

May God bring us out of our apathy in life and into a life of initiative.

Scripture to consider:
Isaiah 53
Psalm 33
Ephesians 5
James 1

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Sex and the Supremacy of Christ

So the last couple days have found me watching a couple videos from a conference that Desiring God did back in 2004, interestingly titled "sex and the supremacy of Christ"

I have been challenged with this question and I'd ask you to ask yourselves:

"Does knowing the supremacy of Christ govern my sexuality?"

If I'm honest with myself, historically... it hasn't. Sexual sin is something that I have struggled with a lot in my life... what between pornography, masturbation, lustful thoughts, lustful actions... I have run quite the gauntlet... and I would presume that it's not necessarily going to get any easier as time goes on.

Two points that I found refreshing, and were set out as the heart of this conference were as follows:

1 - Sexuality is designed by God as a way to know God in Christ more fully.
2 - Knowing God in Christ more fully is designed as a way to knowing/guarding our sexuality.

Said in a different, slightly more convicting way:

Misuses of our sexuality distort our knowledge of God and are a direct result of our lack of understanding of WHO God IS.

Scripture to consider:
Ezekiel 16.

To summaraize, it basically lays out another tragic story of Israel's unfaithfulness. It starts at the beginning, with God coming across a sinner. Someone broken and bloody on the street; someone completely worthless.

God comes along and sees and appreciates that person (in this case the example made is of a woman)... clothes her, brings her up, makes her beautiful.

But as time goes on, she starts to use her worth selfishly and abandons God... becoming a whore - as we all have in our lives.

Now... the JUST thing to do... the FAIR thing to do, would be for God to give her the punishment she deserves and leave her to her own, sinful desires.

But that's not the story we're apart of. We, as Christians -read: unfaithful whore-, are treated with such UNfairness that the story almost seems to not make sense. Not for anything we've done, nor anything we have the ability in ourselves to do... we are granted mercy. We are given grace.

The story WE are a part of... is one of love. It's a story of redemption.

Jump with me to the last verses of chapter 16...

v.59-63
For thus says the Lord God: I will deal with you as you have done, you who have despised the oath in breaking the covenant, yet I will remember my covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I WILL ESTABLISH FOR YOU AN EVERLASTING COVENANT.
Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed when you take your sisters, both your elder and your younger, and I give them to you as daughters, but not on account of the covenant with you. I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord, that you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I ATONE FOR YOU AND ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE, declares the Lord God.

Isn't that compelling?! Isn't that a beautiful thought?!

Even though we are faithless, selfish, prideful WHORES with our affections towards God... HE atones for US and ALL we have done.

THIS is the love that I aspire to live for in my life. THIS is the love that one day I hope to be able to exemplify in my marriage -should that be God's will for my life-.

We are given our sexuality to use it, within marriage, to glorify Christ... to show a most beautiful example of the relationship between Christ and His church.

But how often we do not live up to that responsibility. How often we parade ourselves around like we're something worth looking at.

Outside of the righteousness of Christ, which we are clothed in ONLY through His divine provision... we are worthless rags.

I want know know God as a lover. I want to know God from the inside out and to have Him know me in the same way. I want to trust that His word, and being daily enveloped in it, will keep me pure and holy in His sight.

1 Peter 1: 14-15
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct.

The passions of my flesh are a product of my FORMER ignorance. At one point in my life, I had an excuse for my unfaithfulness... it didn't justify me, but I had an excuse. I was ignorant of God's magnificent glory!!! I had no idea just what I was made in the image of.

But now... as a self-professed follower of Christ, saved not by anything I've done but only by His grace, I have NO excuse to be living in sexual sin. I have NO excuse to be indulging in that which is not rightfully mine to indulge.

This road we are on is not an easy one to walk... it's only through the strength of another that we are even given the grace to stand in the presence of greatness... but by that grace, I believe that purity IS possible.

We must abide in His word EVERY day! We must become living sacrifices for His will and His will alone... leaving our former selves aside.

It is my belief that the good, the beautiful and the truth are the same thing. (not my thoughts, I stole that from a much smarter man than I)

So if sexuality is to be good... let it be based in truth. Then and only then will it truly be beautiful.
If sexuality is to be beautiful... let it be based again in truth. Then it will become good.
And it then follows that if our sexuality is based in truth, it will be both good and beautiful.

I long for a sexuality that is God honoring, and can feel the Holy Spirit stripping my iniquities away and bringing about a long for purity and a desire for holiness. I long for my sexuality, as a man after God's heart, to bring glory to Christ and set an example for those outside of the church of just what that is meant to look like.

Many people today fall in love and then consider the idea of marriage.

I feel now, that it should be the other way around. We should consider our readiness for marriage before we allow ourselves to fall in love. Because if we are not ready to live up to our responsibilities within marriage, we are taking our affections away from God.

Now, that's not to say that I think it is sin to operate the other way around, for I am a man who is deeply in love, and I pray that God gives me the grace to keep that love alive through hell or high water... but can you imagine what Christian marriages would look like... what the WORLD would look like if we considered our readiness to represent Christ in the most sacred way BEFORE we allowed our emotions to take over?

Emotions can cloud our vision of truth, and at the same point, in the right ways, they can most certainly enhance it. But our eyes MUST be focused on truth... Scripture first. Experience second.

The heart is deceitful and concealment is Satan's greatest advantage. We must be open about our inadequacies in our sexuality and fervently pray against them.

ALL pleasure in our lives should be subordinate to those pleasures that we find in Christ.

I believe that true, intimate love, is a bi-product of an intimate understanding of who Christ is and what He's done.

If we find our foundations in Christ, not our selfish emotions, we will stand stronger going into marriages.

Not sure if all that made any sense, but these are thoughts that are fervently in my mind as of late.

May God bless you all with a heart after His will, and may He grant you the grace to live up to His expectations of purity in all our lives. God, I pray that you would accept this prayer, coming from a sinner clothed in the righteousness of Christ... I pray that you would accept my body as a living sacrifice, wholly devoted to following your will.

You are an amazing God and I am forever in debt to your mercy that you've shown me. Thank you for surrounding me with amazing friends and family and a fellowship that truly cares where my heart is at, even though I might not always appreciate it at the time.

Bonus Scriptures:
1 Corinthians 6
Colossians 3:10
2 Peter 1:3-4
John 8:31
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
Hosea 2:14-20

May we be open about our sins to those who will hold us truly accountable. May we be ready for the fire that is needed to refine our dirty hearts. May we forever delight in the amazing grace of Jesus Christ, our Savior... who died for our sins, and rose from the dead that we might triumph over sin through His righteousness.

God, I ask forgiveness for the sexual sins that have been ever so present in my life for as long as I can remember. I pray that you might remember them no more, and strip them from my heart and mind. Thank you for the cross, in which I can find peace in and amongst all of my selfishness.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

prayer

I had a great chance to talk about prayer tonight and sort of... the order of things.

When Jesus taught us to pray, he taught us to begin with the words "Our Father..."

But how often we forget that ONLY through Christ are we even allowed to say those words with any sense of what they mean!!!

I believe that for a daily prayer routine to be effective that you need to daily remind yourself of your need for the gospel, as we are ALL sinners and daily remind ourselves that we are called to be a living sacrifice to God.

I find the imagery of being clothed in the righteousness of Christ so compelling and beautiful when I really think about it. I mean... how awesome is that?! For nothing we've done, we get to reap the rewards of Christ's resurrection and triumph over sin!

God is good.

I am excited for the opportunities God is putting forth in my life for growth and trust that He will give me the strength to capitalize on them.

May God daily remind you of your need for Christ and remind you that ONLY through Him are we made worthy.

Friday, December 5, 2008

liberated.

well. Today marks the first day in my recent life without facebook. what a crazy feeling. it's weird, because right now I REALLY want to just check my facebook and see what's going on... but, in a crazy turn of events... I can't!!! haha

It's a pretty cool feeling to have let go of something that was holding a very strong pull on my life.

In other news... I've been thinking about another movie quote from a lovely little comedy.

"When you pray for patience, God gives you opportunities to be patient. When you pray for strength, God gives you opportunities to be strong."

I don't think that's exactly how it goes, but you get the idea.

In all that is going on around me, whereas I feel it would be easy to lose hope... I believe at the same time that my prayers are being answered. This is an opportunity for me to develop strength and patience, discipline and courage.

God, I pray that you would give me the strength to rise above the circumstances in my life and be the man I believe you are calling me to be. I thank you for the grace you've put into my life and again come to you a sinner in need of a savior. I pray that you would accept my body as a living sacrifice to you and that you would forever see me clothed in the righteousness of Christ and bring me closer to you. Amen.

For anyone who might be keeping up with me on here... I pray that in your life God might give you grace enough to be a light to the darkness in this world... and the courage to boldly step into the darkness.

God Bless.

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

building a fire.

I had the pleasure tonight to recall a rather insightful thought from a very inappropriate movie...

it's called "making love" for a reason.

Love isn't easy. Love isn't something that just "happens" and it's far more than just a feeling. After almost a year, I've decided that Boston wins... more than a feeling.

A spark can come out of nowhere... it can come from a tinder, or a match, or seemingly from thin air...

A fire takes effort. A fire takes time. A fire keeps you warm. A fire can burn.

I've been told by a reliable source (read: my mom) that generally around this time of the year... I'm a wreck. It seems that right around Christmas and right before my birthday I seem to develop some sort of complex.

Maybe it's because I'm terrified of the aging process... and right now I'm pretty sure I'm having a quarter life crisis, but I do believe that we daily wake up with a responsibility to hold ourselves accountable to our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

I've got a long list of failings and I think I've only really decided to take ownership of them over the last couple of days.

I pray that God might grant you all the strength to realize where your weaknesses are and give you the courage to come up against them. I pray that you might all daily learn to come to Christ and appreciate that only through Him are we granted the ability to stand.

I'll leave you with these words. I'm gonna start digging into this lil' hymn more over the next couple days.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

Saturday, November 29, 2008

In this moment.

My insecurities are tearing me apart...

It's in moments like these where you just have to fall to your knees and trust.

verse 1.

Today I begin a journey; a journey of patience, discipline and commitment.

I feel as though I'm on the cusp of a new era in my life. A life not guided by the worldly desires of my flesh, but a life guided by the glory of the all-powerful and merciful God.

I come before you today, a sinner, blessed to be called a saint. But by the grace of God, I am what I am.

This Christian life is a daily process; a daily commitment. Each day when I awake, I must pick up my cross and walk as my Lord Jesus walked.

I will shout for joy in the Lord and sing him new and praise-filled melodies for ALL the things, people and situations in my life.

With strings and loud shouts; I will play skillfully for Christ.

Psalm 119:9
How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

Jesus,
I pray that you would keep my heart pure and fully committed to you. May your will be done in my life, and may I understand that it is infinitely better to have momentary discomfort with the knowledge of what is to come as opposed to momentary comfort with a dismal and dark fate.

Thank you for this undeserved gift of LOVE and kindness you brought into my life, and may my eyes be forever on you, as you graciously lead me through this storm.